Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I could fuck to npr.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
