We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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