1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
