As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
