I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
