I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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