You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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