she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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