So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
