Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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