Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize