In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
