A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize