Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
