She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
