Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
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