I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
