I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
