His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
