i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
