dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was CRYING into my vagina
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
a search helicopter?!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
