We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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