My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize