VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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