I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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