Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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