Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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