tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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