Please, let me fuck your mom
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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