Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
