Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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