Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
