your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
one two three fourrrrnication!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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