I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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