I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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