oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
