it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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