after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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