i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
