He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
