in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
