there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
