Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
