It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
