I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
