well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
honey bunches of taint.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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