guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
