fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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