Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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