I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
