I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this will be a night to untag.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
