whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Everyone says I win the strip club
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
