Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I cannot find my penis.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
