what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize