told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
