You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
