then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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