Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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