I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
