she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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