If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
