your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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