Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
